The FAQ Guide
At Gamefaqs.com, there are a lot of FAQs or guides or (insert game here) Strategy for the Stupid, Dumb, Idiotic and Ignorant, here's a tribute to FAQ writers everywhere for the patience you have taken your time with the FAQ and also, for putting up with dumb assholes who really deserve a kick in the shin for saying or doing the following:
-sending spam messages
-sending porn messages
-sending messages on penile dysfunction
-sending messages on whether you ant bigger boobs (send me that)
-asking the question already answered in the Frequently Asked Questions (Not to be confused with FAQs even though the acronym means the same)
-going into the game and start going, "You suxorororor lolololol uber LED !"
-messaging you with the same message
-stalking you
Here's a FAQ for all FAQ writers in mind with a humorous punch to it.
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FAQ Writing FAQ
by Gamad Runelore, Tauren Heir of Runelore Fortunes
aka Symphix aka Eiseys aka Fayte aka Norman
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Table of Contents
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001. Introduction
002. Version History
003. What is a FAQ Writer
004. Language... Language... Language...
005. How to Write
006. How to answer FAQs
007. Q&A Time (Ask Me A Question)
008. Acknowledgement
009. Copyrights
010. Quotes
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001. Introductions
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Welcome to the FAQ Writing FAQ. I know this sounds dumb but this is a guide for all who are knowledgeable and lead the way to victory for others and yourself or... be the nuisance by creating a horrendous FAQ with unreadable dreck and also, self-satisfying garbage which misdirects people and make people hate you. There are no mistakes and if you think there are, please, do send them in.
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002. Version history
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*Version 0.1
The start of this FAQ as of
-
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003. What is a FAQ?
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FAQ is better known as Frequently Asked Question. In this case, yes, it has something to with it but none of it. All you have got to do is beat a game and start writing the biggest Lou Gehrig crap and you are done. Or, you can study and jot down the smallest details of the game and then, write them up and surmise it so that people can actually get down and pass that level.
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004. Language... Language... Language...
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Now, here are some commonly used languages in the world.
- English
That’s it.
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004. Language... Language... Language...
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(Laughs) I am only joking, my FAQ writing friends.
Writing a FAQ is hard work if you can’t read what it says. If you come from
If there is none, hold on to your hats. You have to write one if it seems necessary for the community. Yes, you can highlight the whole FAQ and go to the Babel Fish Translator and do the translating there but I tried converting the word ‘internet phising’ and I got out ‘Internet Fishing’, written in Chinese. I was searching for German. So, don’t.
You can now try writing it. Like I say, the language you are comfortable with is the part of the key. No, this doesn’t mean that gives you the right to start posting stuff in h4x0rs language or even Klignon or French. So, be sure that language exists in the real world. Not the gaming world. No Taurahe or Orcish please, just the language you are good at and comfortable with.
* I am told by a friend of mine that French FAQs are rare. That is why sometimes the French suck.
** Also, if you like to swear, hold your breathe on it. Be nice unless you want to screw up people
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005. How to Write
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Here is the tricky part. There is a format in all FAQs but it comes to everyone’s very own stylization.
Make sure that you have finished a game or are detailing it as you still are playing it. And also, make sure you ARE playing a game. We are not writing the TV Guide here so please, make sure you are playing a GAME on whatever console whether PC or PS2 or Gamecube or whatever. Even the Asteroids on the Atari system can be made into a walkthrough.
First of all, be really sure that you have the time and dedication to maintain the FAQ. And make sure of the topic you want to talk about. Don’t write something about flying then, somewhere, middle of the FAQ, you write about the Amazing Race 10 and how unfair they have Bilal and Sa’eed. Stay in the topic and don’t stray too far from it if you want to quote people.
Then, you need a tool to write on. Pen and paper is alright unless you don't have the time and energy to make stuff up. The typewriter is also acceptable but what you need is a word processor, mainly like Microsoft Word. Other systems may vary but you need those word processors if you want to work very, very fast and also, especially if you have time constraints. Also, don't be a fool here. You need to have a computer. If you are staring at these words, how are you reading it? If it is paper, understandable. If you think that screen with words is some sort of magical box of hell, yes, you are using a computer. If you want to use those word processors, you need a computer which is staring in front of your face. If you don't know where your Word processor is,
For Microsoft:
Click Start, then Programs and finally, Microsoft Word.
For Mac:
For Linux:
For NASA:
You geniuses shouldn't be looking at this at all.
If you don't have a computer and you don't have paper staring at these words in front of you, you are dreaming. Go back to sleep.
Let’s take example of the FAQ on the Grand Theft Auto San Andreas FAQ, written by A l e x.
You can either start off with a text graphic like his or a simple title with your name like mine. Skilled or not skilled with the text graphic, nobody gives a ripe damn.
Now, you will need a simple table of contents. Just either put it like his, neatly with indexed part separating main and non-storyline missions or be numbered so it will be easy to be searched. Now, if you did it in a messy manner, you are screwed and by that, I mean a really disorganized person. Lest you be branded with that than me. So, be sure you know how to arrange everything. Names must stand clear away from the mission. Names of characters giving missions and names of the missions be recognizable in its way by a small break or a big one or with different indexing. Whatever it is, I am done here.
Then, your introduction is also a very essential part of your FAQ. Welcome them and thank them for reading your FAQ. This ensure that the reader reading your FAQ is comfortable and has his or her seat propped up nicely and comfortably for a great reading adventure. . . in a good way and not that way. . . MOVING ON!
Then, your guide through (that’s another name for FAQ) continues with some control basics of a game. Because there are cheap asses all over the world, their games are pirated (which I do not agree) and that means, the manual is not there with the controls to greet them. Draw a text graphic showing how the X button is important for running or fighting (not GTA) or give a long list on each buttons function in every state like from first person to the car and even, the plane. God forbid that someone in Flight Simulator used Soul Calibur controls to fly his planes in the air. I can’t fly. . . GAH! I crashed Ren. Pat Air sucks.
A brief history and insight into the game helps the reader a bit. Don’t give spoilers though. That’s the last thing you must do. Like in Harvest Moon: Back to Nature is a prime example:
You came back to your grandfather’s farm to claim it back and then, the Mayor finds trespassing on your grandfather’s property and then, you explain yourself. Then, your adventure in farming begins. YAHOO!
This is how you write a summary of a brief history of the time between a cut scene and also, your game time.
Now, the walkthrough part of the FAQ which really is long and boring and helpful to people. I would rather for you people who are writing nonsense FAQs to skip stop reading this FAQ. This is going to drag you all night with the extra coffee and Chinese MSG-infected food. You have to be very detailed when you want to walk through the reader through the game. Or, be as vague as you can with the idealistic concept that the reader will fail when he is reading the Non-Spoiler FAQ.
Example from a FAQ that popped into my mind:
To win the race with Hilary, be on your toes and weather changes are frequent and traffic and affect the outcome of the race.
Hilary drives a Sabre Turbo and he drives like a speed demon, for a momma’s boy. If you want to beat him, you are only going to be able to use the Sentinel XS as the race starts off with you being in it. A big rip off, isn’t it?
There is no way to stop Hilary from winning but keeping your toes sharp and keep an eye on his car. And when you have an opportunity, try to spin his car out of control. If you succeed to spin his car, then, keep an eye out for him to make sure he is far away. Also, drive safely. Bad driving is going to spoil your chances of winning.
Yeah, don’t try to kill him. It’s useless.
There was my example but I did not steal it from anywhere, all in my mind. Well, it is advisory to add some more details. Substantiate the details with links to pictures and give some tips. Like in World of Warcraft, to get Hezrul Bloodmark’s head:
He has two guards. The tip to get his head is to attack the weak guard, kill him, run and heal. Kill other guard, run, heal and finally, kill Hezrul to get his head.
Tips, advice, details are important to help people with the guides. Well, then end with what reward you can get by completing the quest or mission.
Now, let’s finish the FAQ with some FAQ. People will begin to email you if you write a guide that nobody has written before and that is where you FAQ section become large. Yes, at first, you can add some spam questions like ‘Do you like cake?’ but then, you begin to open the portal of spam and people start sending spam messages and personal questions. Tips on this can be found in our next section.
Finally, acknowledgement and copyright to your friends or the people who have helped you. Thank and thank people who have added some details to your FAQ. Copyright is important so that if somebody claims your FAQ as his and you find that he is doing it, you can sue him because it is yours. You have all proof because you had written this FAQ and this person should have asked your permission to use the FAQ to spread the gospel of it.
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006. How to answer FAQs
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We are splitting this into several parts.
- Etiquette and Personality of the FAQ
- Types of questions
- Spamming: Avoid and Receiving
ETIQUETTE
FAQs need some moral ethics and some etiquette to show that you can help people. Not like to help people, can help people. You can answer all questions with pleasant written all over or you can answer it like evilly with the splatter of a fly. Depends on your mood so if you are on a bad mod, don’t answer any questions for that day. If you are like Lewis Black (me included), if a question becomes repetitive or crazy, ignore the questions. Good mood sets the limelight of creative words like ‘beau’ and ‘niche’ so make sure you are happy.
TYPES OF QUESTION
We have many sample questions.
- Why. . .?
- What. . .?
- Who. . .?
- Where. . .?
- How. . .?
- WTF. . .?
You will be constantly bombarded with questions that you can and can’t answer. If you can answer it, give the answer and post it on the FAQ itself. If you can’t, do some research on the game once more and find the part. Then, answer the person and post it for all to know. If you still can’t find the answer, ask around the boards for more information. There are bound to be someone who knows more about the game.
Repetitive question being asked constantly? Ignore it. Best say before the FAQ section starts that if they are going to ask the same question, their questions will be ignored because the answer is IN THE FAQ.
Now, they will be times you will be asked fun questions like ‘Do you like cake?’. Sometimes, if you like having some fun, you should answer that and if you have a big FAQ section, do have some of these to not bore the reader. Fun questions are good to make people think you are fun. Well, that’s what I think.
SPAMMING: AVOID AND RECEIVE
I am sarcastic. As I mentioned before, spamming is going to be frequent if there are people who hate your FAQ. So, best get another email account. You should know this by now so if you are having a company email and it gets hacked and spammed with pornography, you are definitely going to be living in the streets. To spammers, do send me spams on ‘Bigger breast implants’ cause I want that and I need those mails.
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007. Q&A Time (Ask Me A Question)
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None at the moment. Do send some questions.
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008. Acknowledgement
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I would like to thank my brain for having a brain storm for giving me this idea and many people who have helped me.
- A l e x for his great GTA:SA FAQ
- Pastel for his help in HM:AWL SE
- Hajaz Akram (aka Panjit Gavaskar) on Radio Del Mundo for keeping me in tune with Raghupati and Habena Habena
- Ramadan which is coming around the corner
- Will Wright for making the Sims
- Sid Meiers for the Civilization series
- Adif bin Awal for giving me Suikoden IV
- Ironmoon on Silverhand for helping me on World of Warcraft
- The Amazing Race for entertaining me
- Lewis Black for also entertaining me
- The World of Warcraft FAQs at WOWIGN.com and Gamefaqs.com
- The great guys at HMOtaku
- Forget Reality of Belgium who I despise much
- Redstar of Peru who smells like fish
- Masali of America who rocks hard
- Blunt of
- Mortal Fudge who doesn’t know that Halo 2 sucks
- Bradygames and Prima Games who provide great guides for the public
- TQKL, TKSM, KCKW, JC – thanks for being my great friends
And my fellow readers, thanks for endearing the painful read of this.
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009. Copyright
Yeah. This is all written by me and all stuff were not stolen. This is copyright of Norman aka Fayte aka Eiseys aka Symphix aka *phew* Gamad Runelore of Silverhand and if found copied anywhere other than me posting it, you have breached international copyright law and that is bad. This also means I get one million dollars so if do not want to become bankrupt, I suggest from copying my work.
If you do wish to show this off to your friends, please send me an acknowledgement about you posting my stuff at sa.warriors@gmail.com or at the http://forumites.com/forums because I need to know stuff beforehand. Otherwise, you'll be one million dollars poorer, guaranteed.
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010. Quotes
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Your emails are important to me and you will be credited by giving comments on my FAQ. I like to update stuff from here and so, you will be quoted, if I feel like it.
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Here's where the guide stops. Remember, guides are there to help people and sometimes, misdirect so be careful and also, to the writers of all FAQs, guide books, strategy guide and walkthroughs, you are the inspiration for this work and I would like to thank you for all of your hard work done for the gaming community.
Thank you and good day!
posted by Fayte @ 5:34 AM
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